The Power of a Woman

A strong woman knows what makes her happy. She shares her happiness with everyone but quickly protects it from those who choose to do it wrong or try to uproot it. She makes decisions that cultivate the life that makes her happy with courage, dedication, and perseverance. She leans in.

The familiar saying “Behind every great man is an even greater woman” can undoubtedly hold most times. A woman may very well be the driving force behind any successful man. However, a woman can also use her powerful influence negatively. We can see this in Macbeth, where Lady Macbeth is the evil force behind Macbeth’s cruelty and evil doings. In Shakespeare’s Macbeth, Lady Macbeth is the main reason that Macbeth is transformed from a noble, respected Thane into a ruthless, murderous character. Lady Macbeth fuels his inner desire for power and brings forth his greed and ambition, eventually leading to his downfall. Lady Macbeth used tactics to drive her husband to this downfall, manipulation, dominance, and her evil nature. Oh, how I can relate.

Let’s take the opposite approach. Men have continued to dominate the workforce in most companies for many years. This is because we viewed them as the stronger gender. We could not assign women to too demanding positions; hence, they were barred from accessing powerful positions. However, this attitude has changed because many women previously worked in very reputable positions reserved for men.

Men owe their power to their masculine bodies and money, whereas women rely on their knowledge to gain power. Today’s woman has proved men wrong because, unlike in the past decades when she was designated to household duties, nowadays she can provide for the whole family with no hurdles.

Women have climbed the corporate ladder by seeking more knowledge that has placed them above their male counterparts. Moreover, the strategies employed by men have been rendered powerless by those of women.

It’s about time

Women have been successful in influential positions because they can stand their ground. This implies that they have strong working principles that can never be bent. This tactic has been helpful to men because, in most organizations, men have been undermining them, probably because of their low numbers in administrative units.

So, why am I telling you about the strength of women? It’s a topic that continues to live inside of me. It’s the 21st Century, and the United States has had forty-six presidents—all male. I researched and saw how Eleanor Roosevelt was asked to run for president in 1948 but refused. And I still believe Hillary Clinton won the presidency in 2016, but that’s for another day.

But that’s not the reason. For frequent readers of my essays, you will understand that Pam is on my mind…again. Maybe I should say as usual. She possesses so many outstanding qualities, not the least of which was/is her outward beauty. But today, I want to tell you about her strengths. She was and continues to be the strongest woman (maybe person) I knew/know.

The list is in no particular order, and all points are equal to all other points.

1. She fights against expectations.

She is aware of the obstacles in her way and people’s misogynistic expectations of her, but she decides for herself what she wants and works to achieve it. Despite the notion that women should be independent and do everything, she will find help or gain strength from supportive friends, family members, and mentors.

2. She bounces back.

This strong woman keeps going on as she has never been hurt, despite having been.

3. She knows who she is.

She is self-aware, and that is her. She continually tries to overcome her fears, knows how to control herself, and is patient no matter the situation. She isn’t afraid to reveal her feelings because we all have them, and she shows hers without caring what other people think.

4. She is independent but knows when to ask for help.

Being a strong woman doesn’t mean you can’t ask for help. Hell, being a strong man doesn’t mean you can’t ask for help. (Not that I would know a thing about being a strong man, and rarely do I ask for help on anything). Part of me thinks that women feel they have to overcompensate because so many peg them as these fragile, helpless creatures when many of the women I know are stronger (be it mentally, emotionally, or physically) than many of the men I know. Pam is at the top of that list.

5. She follows her own path.

This strong woman is someone who follows her dreams rather than a man. The right man works within her confines and understands this. (Notice the emphasis on the right man?)

6. She is unapologetic about who she is.

She works hard, chases what she believes in, and does it all for herself. No one else. She loves endlessly and shows appreciation to those around her. Most importantly, she isn’t selfish; she reaches back to help others once she makes it.

7. She’s a fighter.

This strong woman is a woman who fights for rights she shouldn’t have to fight for.

8. She’s perseverant.

Every time she falls, she gets up. Even when the odds are against her, she pushes forward. She doesn’t let others influence her decisions. She’s resilient.

9. She is balanced.

She knows when to be selfish and selfless, when to follow her head, and when to follow her heart. She has a good, stable head on her shoulders, knows when to play the hand she’s dealt and when to fold, and hopes the next one is better.

10. She doesn’t let others define her.

This strong woman is a busy, vibrant, and goal-orientated woman who doesn’t wait for a man to validate her existence.

11. She is grounded in her faith.

She believes in whatever she believes in and lets that faith guide her every step.

12. She isn’t afraid to be true to her feelings.

She isn’t afraid to share her opinions and speak her truth. She listens but doesn’t allow other people’s problems to bring her down. They fill Pam with kindness, generosity, compassion, integrity, a willingness to be vulnerable, and authenticity. No matter what, she is true to herself.

13. She respects herself.

I told you this list goes in no particular order. This should probably be in the top 5. She doesn’t let the cattiness of other women bring her down. She has the utmost respect for herself and what she believes in.

14. She is humble.

Lists, like your checkbook, need to be balanced. So I had to either stop at ten or go to fifteen. I had thirteen and had to come up with two more, but these last two are so good they, too, could be moved to the upper echelon of this list of her strengths. She is confident, yes. But I think the best way to describe Pam’s strength is a sense of ‘confident humility’ paired with faith and passion. By ‘confident humility,’ I mean someone who isn’t so humble that she comes across as weak. Instead, someone that can stay confident without getting arrogant.

15. She loves.

She loves inherently, from when she was a little girl to the day she passes away. She is always willing to take care of others. She loves. And never stops loving.

Being a strong woman means you’re realistic enough to know what you can do, is grounded enough to know when you need a hand, and confident enough to know you can ask for help without fear of being judged.

So, I’m thinking. What does it usually mean when a guy says you are a strong woman? I’m a guy, so I’m going to tell you. When a guy tells you that he wants a strong woman, chances are it’s a projection of his insecurities — he’s weak and emotionally stunted. One day he will drag you down with him and then use you to elevate himself. Don’t let him do that. Pam never would.

Here is what I learned from Pam. To be a strong woman is to respect yourself enough to set your boundaries and follow through on them. She never allowed friends, romantic relationships, or even family to manipulate her into things she disagreed with—she learned to stand on her own and stay true to the ideas and morals she held close to her heart. Oh, and here’s a fun fact. She loves polka dots, so I have taken to wearing polka dots on my socks at least once a week.

But wait, there’s more.

She knows what to say and when to say it, and what not to say and exactly when not to say it. She’s honest and never apologizes for it. She’s fiercely passionate. She encourages you. She’s loyal. (Perhaps the most loyal person I have ever met).  She stands up for those who don’t have a voice. She keeps only positive, uplifting people in her life. She takes responsibility for her own actions. She knows how to have fun. As much as she’s responsible and hard-working, she also knows how to make fun of herself and find something to smile about even when everything seems to be going wrong. She loves to play and often feels like sunshine on a rainy day. (I’m thinking of changing that because she is sunshine on a windy day and a snowy day and in the evening and…).

And finally, she’s not interested in mediocrity and strives for the extraordinary in every area of her life. A great woman knows who she is and what she wants, and she will never settle for any less than this. She’ll want you forever if you can meet her high standards. But then again, she’s Pam. So, even if you can’t meet all of those standards, she’ll still have you in her life forever.

Perhaps I should tell her all of this one day, but I think I have a lot of work to do first.